Tuesday, December 28, 2010

take a bath, please

man, people here smell. not all people, but some. and i don't mean just a minor odor problem. they stink. like they don't take showers - EVER. but then again, after walking about 3 miles yesterday (with long sleeves in order to fit in with the 'cover your entire body' attire), i was starting to smell like a sweaty hog too.

cancer is inevitable here. skin or lung; take your pick. everyone smokes and i do mean everyone. everyone may not smell, but seriously everyone smokes. i'm thinking of taking up cigars, but i'm gonna inhale.

have i mentioned the multi-times-a-day 'call to prayer'? our hotel is in between two mosques and 5 TIMES A DAY this chanting begins from the loud speakers of both of them (i'm presuming all of them do it; we just happen to be one block from a couple). 5:30 freaking AM is the first one. sunup and sundown, plus what seems like a dozen times in between. but supposedly its only 5 times, but i can't remember if that's total or 5 in addition to the one in the morning and one at night. i don't think its the same chant every time or day  either because the first time i heard it, i thought, 'oh how cool'. and it was really beautiful. but whoever was chanting/singing at 5:30 this morning sounded pissed. maybe it was a real person and he was a little bent about having to get up and scream over a loud speaker before the sun even came up. i'm just saying.

jeff told me (i think i'm going to start most of my sentences off this way from now on). anyway jeff told me that there are only buttons on the right hand side of each elevator because they (who is they anyway - muslims? arabs? emiratees?) believe the left hand is either the sign of the devil or is the devil or something. clarification, jeff? and that they're not supposed to use their left hands. what if they're left-handed? before mr. sanders could explain about the devil thing, i figured it was because they used their left hand to masturbate with and didn't want to touch the elevator buttons with that same hand. i guess i'm wrong again. however, i did get on an elevator in what is called "lulu center" a couple of days ago and the buttons were on the left. hmmm. i don't have an explanation.

all the maids here are men. weird, huh? the grocery store is quite an experience too. took me 45 minutes today just to find the cereal. and when i asked some sheik where the breakfast foods were, he looked at me like i had 3 heads. maybe i'll start doing something really weird, like carrying one of those ventriloquist dummies and using it to talk.

we're moving to our apartment on saturday - did i mention that already? jeff says there is a combination washer/dryer there. not the kind where they're little and cute and one sits on top of the other. its just one machine that does both washing and drying. honestly, this is pathetic, but i can't wait to see how that thing works.

got a phone (finally) last night. its an LG Cookie or something stupid like that. and it looks like its from 1991. having an iphone REALLY spoils you. not to be a complete whiny brat, but i really want my iphone to work. really, i do. really.

going to dubai for new year's eve. i have no snarky comment about that. but i will be driving. yes, me. driving. here. THAT should be more interesting than the party. please say a prayer and wish me luck.

already planning my quarterly escape to dallas. april 17th.

love to all,

rapidly aging tricia

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