antsy

my last day at work was this past tuesday. is really weird not working voluntarily. i can't remember the last time i actually quit a job. i kind of miss having a purpose for my day. and part of me wishes they would call and need help with something. i miss work more than i thought i would. not the stress, but the camaradie and the family of friends i made there. oh well; on to the next chapter in my fairly normal life.

jeff left for abu dhabi on thursday and i think this was the first time i've seen him this nervous. he seemed sad about leaving the states for such a long time. is weird cause i think he's way more adventurous than i. he's already arrived and sent pics of the hotel. doesn't look like a bad place to be staying for a month.

i'm a huge ball of stress about the move though. seems like i must be forgetting something BIG that i need to be doing, but i can't think of what. i'm sure it will come to me as i'm getting on the plane next week. packing today. i don't really need to pack; the movers are doing that, but it just feels like i should be doing something. there's a law & order marathon on right now and its so tempting to just hang on the couch all day and watch jack mccoy do his thing. i LOVE sam waterston. i took an adderall this morning; not because i have 'a.d.d.' but because i need to drop the 5 pounds i gained from my mother-in-law's chex mix. but the drugs just make me shaky and talk too much.

i'm pretty much all set for the move (unless i've forgotten something as mentioned previously). i'm so scared the flight will be delayed or something will happen to the pets. deep breaths; deep breaths. this would be a good time to start yoga or meditation or something. or maybe valium.

met some of my great neighbors this morning while i was walking the dogs. jeff and i are horrible neighbors. not sure why we didn't socialize with these people before. i've had so many offers of help, but i hate asking for it. i really think people offer to help because they think that's what they should do. but if actually asked, they'd be like "um, ok - what exactly do you need?" and wouldn't want to help at all. i must be crazy. people are probably nicer than i think.

feeling restless, so i think i'll go pack a box.

more later on my mental status.