Rage against the washing machine

when I got to texas i discovered that the washing machine in my rent house was possessed too, but in a different way than the one in the apartment in abu dhabi. this washer liked to vomit up water that it was supposed to be sucking down like a college girl with a beer bong. $200 later and the dallas washer is now recovered. the one in abu dhabi is still randomly coloring things purple, so mr. sanders informed me the building is replacing it tomorrow. can't wait to see what issue this one has.

i've been doing a lot of driving lately which gives me too much time to think:

it should probably be called 'unplanned parenthood'.

are they still skinny jeans if they are size 17?

wonder how 'bush' came up with the name of their band?

i think the freezer deserves a light as well.

i believe if it takes 20 minutes to get a coffee at starbucks, your barista is mentally retarded.

i disagree with kay jewelers. i would bet on any given friday or saturday night more kisses begin with miller lites than kay.

why is a school zone 20 mph? that seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles.

while i'm on the subject of driving, i hate people who drive. and i do mean everyone. cause they're in my way and they're @ssholes. yesterday i saw a guy shaving and a girl applying false eyelashes. how are these people so talented? i can barely juggle my peppermint mocha and my iphone while driving.

i have a crack . . . in my windshield. what powers that be decide that you are the one who will be smacked by a tiny rock and forced to pay $250 for a new giant piece of glass?

I'm a bad-ass. the holes in this smurf prove it:

gotta run; going to chuy's for an overindulgence in queso.

love and gooey cheese products,

tricia